Wednesday 18 May 2011

DOCUMENT 1; MY CONFUSION

Afternoon, not quite a different day from yesterday but at least today I somehow rediscovered that nothing comes and goes easy. My girlfriend woke up to see me off to school, with some breakfast in hand(not all that scrumptious a `mandazi` some black tea or well known in Kenyan terms `turungi`).
Came back home and the only comforting thing i could find is my laptop now am here  blogging, to pass time. The weather aint that good either. Entering the room i find my`WIFEY` sleeping all peaceful,beautiful;wish i could join her but my mind wouldn`t let me. My thoughts are vague and confusing. I tune in to Kiss100 f.m as i try to settle myself down but i find they are conviniently talking about condoms-one of the things i do not want to hear at the moment.
My life is still in a maze. Not so long ago i lost someone who meant a lot to me someone i miss dearly. am feeling like a dog with  no collar tag,belonging to no one,trying to find my way back home but instead am now in a dog pound. Am feeling caged,tied down. If Alladin could just lend me his jinni for a moment I could undo what has been done maybe correct a mistake. But then am hit with scenes from `Final destination`. IS IT TRUE THAT THE PATTERN OF DEATH CANT BE DISRUPTED? Is there even a pattern?. It sounds selfish since am not the first to lose a loved and i wont be the last! 
Some say life is a journey and as it begins it has to end. But why? Why should it end? Why not just have stopovers-and continue with the travels. If you get tired drink some redbull.
My point-ends are just virtual, things that maybe are there but not necessarily real. 

3 comments:

Wanjiru Nduhiu said...

Dude, deep. am impressed. keep it up. someone said the other day that those who depart from us are picked by The Almighty as their role here on earth is complete......as in they have ivad!

muigai kamau jr. said...

True that. I found a venue to air my mind-put it in paper t create space in my mind for other thoughts

Roziey said...

Found myself re-reading ur blogs,n they just reminded me how special u r,keep it up teve:-*